You walk into the studio—it’s flowery. Quiet. Calm. A much different scene than the beefy, sweaty dudes in the weight room.
Then you see her—decked out in Lululemon pants stretching on her Manduka mat.
She captivates you. She’s beautiful. Flexible. Radiant.
Yoga has 15 million practitioners in the United States, and 72% of them are women. That means in any given yoga class, seven out of every ten people are going to be women.
Fellas, can we say gold mine?
Now I’m not the first Einstein to figure this out. I will admit that the ratio was an obvious bonus in my own journey as both a yoga student and teacher. So what do you do? A yoga studio filled with beautiful women feels like a field filled with potential social land mines. How is a decent guy like you supposed to navigate that?
Six Tips to Approaching That Special Yogini:
What can you do to create your best chance of an interaction that feels really good to both of you?
1. Ask yourself: Why are you in a yoga class?
Really. Why are you there? To get in shape? Relax? Drink more herbal tea? Or are you honestly only there to meet women? If that’s the case, women will detect that more than the incense. They’ll know you’re scheming for a pick-up, that you’re after something from them—and this fact will automatically be the creepy guy. Take a step back and connect first with your personal reasons for practicing yoga.
Here are ones I’ve noticed for myself: deeper breathing, stronger and more flexible body, more space between me and my thoughts, closer relationship with my physical body, noticing (and releasing) emotions, eating more mindfully, gaining more access to my intuition.
Secret: all of the above will help you with women. So you can’t lose if you refer to your core.
2. Keep your eyes in check.
Don’t ogle. Men often lack tact when “discreetly” checking out a beautiful woman. Do you really think the other women can’t see you staring at Miss Ponytail for two looooong minutes? I’m not saying you should ignore the 27 women in yoga pants, but I am saying that when you do notice a women, keep it quick. Take a breath, and bring your awareness back to yourself and your mat.
And repeat the following mantra: She is physically beautiful and a human being. Objectification won’t get you far with yoga women—or any women.
3. Keep coming back.
You may feel this urgency to chat her up, get her number, and ask her out on a date—-all in a three-minute window. Relax, Bro. Check your scarcity at the door. You’re in a yoga studio, a revolving door of women. Do not be the guy who goes to a yoga studio once and asks every woman out. Make yoga part of your routine by being a regular at the studio. Plant small, social seeds each time you take a class. Offer relaxed and friendly hellos without needing a response, noticing who seems friendly back.
4. Say hello.
Nothing happens until something happens. So say ‘hello.’ Introduce yourself. Smile. Ask her a question that you are genuinely curious about. Stay out of your head and in your body. And remember to breathe. This isn’t the place be the pushy, alpha-male bar guy. Lean back—and lean back some more.
5. Respect her space.
Many women go to yoga because there are fewer men. It’s their sanctuary, a safe space where they go to connect with themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually, to de-stress, to feel a sense of community with other women. Likewise, some may have insecurities about their bodies, so the last thing they need is some horny dude ogling and hitting on them like it’s the corner pub. You are an obvious minority.
At the same time, this isn’t about hiding or denying anything. Bring your masculinity to the mat. As sexual energy and thoughts come up, just breathe and circulate it back into the solid, powerful, loving man you are.
6. Do not stink.
Wear deodorant. Use a hand towel to wipe off sweat. Bring a change of clothes if you are a sweat machine. The yoga studio is not a pick-up joint. It’s a place to connect with your body, your spirit, and other soulful people. Make that your primary focus. More down dogs. Less horn dogs.
[photo: via adifansnet on flickr]