Mindful Moment #26 - Quiet Quitting

Permission to Quietly Quit

If you haven’t heard the concept of “quiet quitting” bouncing around your social media, let me tell you: I’m all for it. “Quiet quitting” is a means by which you can take back your sanity and worth by doing the work explicitly necessary to do your job. This includes stopping work at quitting time and placing boundaries around work communication while you are off the clock, as the job permits (sorry on-call workers). Of course, you need to do what adheres to the requirements of your position and your personal work ethic, but I think it might be time to quiet quit on things that add to your stress while giving you nothing in return. Sounds like TPS reports to me. If it takes innumerable hours to do something that doesn’t really need doing, why are you doing it? Especially if what you put in gets no recognition, has no real pay-off, or simply steals your time.

It wasn’t that long ago that I felt like time was in my favor. Those pandemic days stretched out forever, and I felt like it took hours for 15 minutes to pass. I invented work for myself. I took on odd jobs. I collected new hobbies. I joined online gaming communities as part of simple phone game apps. I had to fill the days with a variety of *things* to distract me from worry, fear, and grief, above and beyond my work and mom duties. Now that life has largely returned to “normal,” I still have all of these extra *things* lingering in my life. I already have pretty good boundaries around my job, but these things I inserted myself into over two years ago are vexing me. I’ve decided it’s time to quit for the same reasons people are quiet quitting at work: to take back my time and energy. Time has sped back up and all those spare minutes are precious to me now.

Listen, I know it’s dumb. I know! But I took on these things for the purpose of “fun” or to give myself a mental outlet, and I turned them into obligations. I feel literal guilt when I start letting one of them slip or fall off a schedule or detach from one in favor of another. Then I have “fear of missing out” about whichever one I’m slacking on, because even if it’s only in a small way, I became part of these micro-communities in virtual spaces. There were teammates to chat with, scores to add to the team tally, and points to accumulate for “prizes.” One micro-community was a podcast fanbase that started a book club. We had meetings by Zoom and drank wine together. It was all very serotonin inducing. Until it wasn’t.

I’m sure it’s a mental foible I have from my “eldest child try-hard” tendencies, but when I dive into something, I am IN! I’ll commit to something until it’s done to my satisfaction. This is fine for crochet projects or learning to paint with watercolors. It’s great for a while…for a hobby or two…but not dozens. Yes, I have dozens of hobbies. Some can be put away, but those micro-communities I had joined created a new problem. Maybe you can guess, but they began to feel like a burden. Primarily because I could never “be done” with them. They were never-ending and had no finish line. That means I have to call it quits when I need to. Feeling the need to quit is hard to come by for those of us who are good a sticking it out. It’s like a challenge to my “I can do it” mindset. I have finally given myself permission to “quiet quit” on the most significantly demanding time wasters.

So far, I’ve intentionally parted ways with two games, two groups, and one odd job. And let me tell you, just those small “quits” have made me feel such relief. Why was I doing that to myself? Well, to be honest, I realized I was making my mental load so heavy that I had no capacity to dwell on my emotions. If you give yourself 25 things to juggle, you won’t have time to do (or think about) much else. It feels good to admit that to myself.

So let me give you this to have a moment of meditation:

Sit down. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Soften your face. Relax your shoulders.

Focus on your breath. Breathe in as deeply as you can. Hold it. Then breathe out slowly. Repeat three more times.

Imagine yourself holding a great big beach ball. It fills your arms broadly and is much too big to see over. It is transparent and you can see inside of it.

Inside of it is something (or some emotion) you’ve been avoiding. What is it? Why are you avoiding it?
Recognize and appreciate that the ball has nicely encapsulated this thing you are avoiding. Unfortunately, you can’t hold the ball forever. You can’t even really see where you are going. You can, however, imagine the best possible resolution to dealing with this thing. Allow yourself to imagine that best possible resolution through to fruition. How would it feel to have it properly dealt with? How would it feel to put your arms down? To see clearly again?

Take three more deep breaths while you imagine the solution and resolution entering the ball as you exhale. With each exhale, the ball gets bigger and bigger, until finally it is too big to hold.

Give yourself permission to let it go. It is going to float away from you, higher and higher, until you lose sight of it. Eventually the ball is going to begin falling back down. You can opt to catch it again or let it fall. When it falls, the resolution will begin.

Are you ready to let it fall? If so, let it.

Here’s to quietly quitting. Here’s to peace.

As always,
Namaste

Amy

INSPIRATIONS THIS WEEK

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Battery tech breakthrough paves way for mass adoption of affordable electric car | Penn State University A breakthrough in electric vehicle battery design has enabled a 10-minute charge time for a typical EV battery. The record-breaking combination of a shorter charge time and more energy acquired for longer travel range was announced today (Oct. 12) in the journal Nature.
New Study Undermines the Theory That Depressed People Are Just More Realistic – Neuroscience News “Depressive realism”, a theory that has been touted since the late 1970s, states those with depression are more realistic in how they judge the control they have over their lives. A new study says the evidence is not there to sustain this old theory.

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