Mindful Moment #38 - What’s in Your Closet?

What’s in Your Closet?

The beginning of the new year is a great time to take stock of everything. I have been busily thinning out the clothes in my closet and making a donation pile of things I don’t need to keep anymore. Doing this has brought up so many memories of people I used to know and the kind of person I used to be. Why am I keeping that one sweater if it reminds me of some ex from 20 years ago? Out it goes. My mom gave me this shirt, but it doesn’t fit anymore. I don’t care, I’m keeping it, but I’m putting it in the “future quilt” pile. Oh, the bomber jacket. I should probably give it back to the guy who gave it to me, but I am not opening that can of worms ever again. Goodbye, bomber jacket.

Having all of these memories flood back was surely part of the reason I kept these things, but now the memories aren’t worth the closet space. In thinking about how much growth I’ve made since those old relationships, I got to thinking about what made me change certain aspects of myself and not others.

For instance, I am what people call a romantic. Not a “hopeless” one anymore, but still, I have this rather idealistic attitude toward life. Mr. Bomber Jacket once accused me of being a naïve, mamby-pamby baby who didn’t understand how the real world worked, because I cried at a touching commercial in front of him. We once spent an entire night arguing with about what makes the “world go ‘round.” He said it was money. I said it was love. I mean, I was in my 20s when that philosophical debate took place and my heart was quite a bit less scarred than it is today, but I still want to believe that love is a significant driving force in the world. Call me crazy.

If I am looking objectively at how I am different today, I admit that being too idealistic had blinded me to problems, almost like if I pretended I couldn’t see them, technically they didn’t exist. As I lived through some tough times and did some growing up, I switched that blindness to anticipatory diligence. If I could spot a problem before it arrived, I could sound the alarm, make a plan, and maintain something close to ideal by avoiding said problem. Voila! Maturity!

I am still that same hoping-for-the-best person I always was. Unapologetically so. But I am wiser now, and I have contingency plans.

All of that is to say that if you haven’t struggled through the push and pull of personalities, or have and found yourself questioning some tenet of who you are, choosing to adapt or go along with someone else’s attitude to keep the peace or impress them or hold on tighter to that relationship, maybe it’s time to go through that emotional closet. Maybe it’s time to take stock of your own traits—the good and the bad—and see where they came from. Maybe it is time to ask if having a certain mindset is serving you well or how you can use it as your superpower.

I am going to suggest a meditation that takes a little extra work. I want you to find a neutral sound-scape to listen to. I like listening to a sound bath performed with crystal bowls, but you can also just listen to white noise, a fan, or a quiet nature soundtrack.

Sit down in a comfortable position and relax. Soften your face, relax your jaw, lower your shoulders, and breathe. Imagine your feet and your tailbone being rooted to the earth, and your crown chakra like a white, glowing lotus flower opening its petals to the sky.

As you listen to the sound you’ve chosen, close your eyes and think about how you would define yourself to a new person you’re meeting tomorrow. What aspect of your personality will you reveal to them?

If you are meeting this person with the intention of pursuing a romantic relationship, does what you reveal about your inner self change? If so, how and why? If not, why not? How have you decided on this aspect of yourself to show (or not show) a potential partner? Dedicate some intention around this idea of sharing or not sharing who you are. If you knew being vulnerable with this person was safe, how would that change your interaction?

Consider how you were different in the past. What made you change being or thinking that way? What positive influence did people from your past have on you? What negative influence did people from your past have?

Consider how you are the same at your core—something that has been unwavering about your personality since you were a child. Give that aspect of yourself a loving energy.

Now I want you to pay some gratitude to yourself for cobbling together all of these disparate aspects of self into one unified being. If you’ve changed for “better or worse,” as the result of some relationship, you did that to survive. Pat yourself on the back for being the survivor that you are. I also want you to give yourself a good dose of love all around, by imagining a white light glowing from your heart and surrounding your whole body with warmth.

Breathe deeply as you continue to enjoy the sound scape. When you are ready to finish your meditation, try writing down what this meditation helped you learn about yourself, your relationships, and your own instincts to survive.

If you are so inspired, trying going through your closet to let go of items that are no longer serving you. I cannot tell you how joyful it was to drop that bomber jacket into the donation bag.

Cheers for the New Year!

Namaste,
Amy

INSPIRATIONS THIS WEEK

We’re feeling inspired by these incredible and thought provoking pieces:

Resolved to meditate in the New Year? Experts share what to expectIf you’re planning to get your psyche together in 2023, it’s best to know in advance what to expect, how to meet your goals, and who you can turn to for guidance.
The ‘breakthrough’ obesity drugs that have stunned researchersA class of drugs that quash hunger have shown striking results in trials and in practice. But can they help all people with obesity — and conquer weight stigma?
Scientists Just Uncovered A Whole New Layer of Brain AnatomyThe human brain is a ridiculously complex organ that doesn’t give up its secrets easily.

That’s all for today, y’all – remember, taking time to focus on you is an act of love.

We hope you found this helpful – don’t hesitate to reply with any feedback on how we can improve future Mindful Moments! We can’t wait to hear from you.