To invite love in, we need to first get clear on what it is we want. Here you’ll find guiding questions to shape and focus your own relationship Vision.
Today (meaning the day I wrote this article) happened to be that magical time of New Year’s, right between the last day of the departing year and the dawn of the first day of the coming year. At this special time, I’m always inspired to take inventory of the past year, to review what I accomplished, and what I didn’t get around to doing. How I grew and stretched, and how I moved closer to my relationship Vision. I like to do this before I start leaning into my desires and visioning the coming year.
As I sit here reflecting on the past year and begin creating my vision for the New Year, it strikes me how similar this time of year naturally is to the process of developing a relationship Vision and having a deep sense of purpose. While the New Year’s version only covers one year at a time, and the relationship Vision is intended to cover the span of a particular relationship from a few years up to an entire lifetime, many of the questions reflected upon are the same.
Here are some thoughts to ponder related to your relationship Vision whatever state it might be in, from an early draft and not yet in existence, outside your dreams, to a long-term marriage that longs for a passion revival.
- What lessons have you learned this past year, personally and together?
- Which lessons are you most grateful for?
- If given the chance, what would you do differently in the future?
- If given the chance, what would you do more of?
- Can you forgive yourself and make peace with whatever the answers are to the above questions and release the past?
If yes continue on; if no, email me right away ☺
- What is your deepest desire?
- What is your strongest intention?
- What is your most heartfelt Vision for relationship?
Your relationship Vision brings purpose and direction to your relationship and to your dating. If you haven’t found them yet, it makes it clear for you to see what you desire, where you are going, and what gifts and contributions you bring.
Think of your relationship Vision as the overarching long-distance vision you aspire to create. It allows you to get very intentional about the whole process, to develop a clear mission that supports the vision, and to then select strategies, priorities, and tasks for how to get there, one doable step at a time. It’s a way to break the big and sometimes overpowering task of finding a partner into smaller, bite-sized chewable pieces that you don’t have to choke on because they are too big and seem overwhelming.
Relationship Vision also defines how you’re contributing your uniqueness, which I often refer to as your service. I know this sounds lofty and idealistic, but if you were honest with yourself, wouldn’t you love to know that what you are doing is making a difference that benefits your partner—other than just companionship and easy access to sex? Doesn’t it sound a lot more appealing to be an offer, a gift, and a contribution to an intentionally created relationship that truly serves both parties; rather than being a contributor to dysfunction and messy divorces by adding to the chaos and strife?
You probably have a better idea of what turns you on, what raises your level of desire, and what outrages you and turns you off. You are more aware of your “dark side” and your unique ways of sabotaging yourself. You will also have developed a deeper connection to Source and found several different ways in which to deepen that connection, whether through meditation, journaling, movement or something else. You have established a practice that keeps you connected, guided, and inspired. As you read through the segments on your relationship to Service, you looked at what gets in your way of having a clear vision for relationship. So often it’s the past and our fears of not repeating sad or painful experiences, and equally important, what is the contribution you are uniquely designed to make.
Now you have formulated at least a mental draft of your relationship Vision that should be inspired by and includes some of the information you extracted from those fundamental three relationships to your Self, to Source, and to Service along the way.
Now what? What do you do next?
You get somebody who is exclusively on your team to support you and to help you make it happen—a cheerleader to help you stay accountable in action leading to forward motion. You can partner up with a friend or colleague to do this with you or you can also hire a professional. The advantage of hiring a professional is they are experts and this is what they do. You can often check their references and testimonials from past clients. They are also not likely to buy into any of your stories or your perceived limitations. And if they offer group workshops, you can take the journey with other like-minded individuals who are working on the same things you have struggled with and in the process of growing beyond them.
I offer support with writing your passion and learning to voice your desires. I also help you with raising your desire level by doing the pleasure practice and really learning to relish your desires and feel ready for love—both to give it and to receive it. I help you develop a heartfelt relationship vision, clearing out what gets in the way of it, and I help you make it happen. All of the Relationship On My Terms programs are designed to offer you the support you need every step of the way with getting ready for and creating your dream relationship with the yummiest and delicious partner you can imagine. The programs offered range from Do-it-Yourself, to taking the journey with a group of peers with my personal guidance and coaching, to working with me one-on-one.
Depending on where you are in the journey and who you are, there is always a program that will work for your personal learning preference. I would be delighted to support to you on your journey. You can check out my website at www.TrineJensen.com or feel free to email me directly at [email protected].