in: Dating & Relationships

A Handy Dandy Step-by-Step Guide to Manifesting Love

Manifesting love might sound like an intimidating task, but it’s easier (and more fun) than you think. Let’s breaks things down, one happy step at a time. 


We’ve all had relationships that didn’t quite work out. Maybe we didn’t exactly get what we wanted, maybe we didn’t deliver what the other person expected and maybe (probably) everyone left feeling a bit bruised, let down and pessimistic.

After situations like that, it’s easy to focus on the negative qualities of the previous relationship. “He never wanted to try new restaurants; I won’t date a guy like that again.” Or, “She was always talking about wanting to get married and have kids, what’s the rush? I won’t date another woman who puts those at the top of her priority list!”

We then go about finding another partner who specifically does not have those qualities… instead of looking for the person who has the qualities we do want.

The Law of Attraction says that “that which we pay attention to is what we attract.” So, if you’re paying attention to the things you donoteverwantevereverever, you’re actually missing the most important part of the equation.

With this train of thought, you’re undoubtedly going to end up with a partner who carries traits you do not find attractive and the relationship is doomed to fail. You can’t put all of your energy into weeding out the things you find undesirable while ignoring the qualities you find important and then expect to wind up with the love of your life.

The fabulous part about manifesting your soulmate is that you can actually have all those things you crave! Want someone who will treat you with dignity and respect? Done. Is it important to you to find a partner who finds joy in scouring antique shops on Saturdays followed by cider sipping? No problem. Does your ideal partner sign up to run mud-filled obstacle races and would rather sleep on the ground under a tarp than in a 5-Star hotel? It’s a cinch.

The easy part is letting the Universe deliver this relationship to you. The hard part is believing and trusting that the Universe will do it all without you needing to know each and every detail along the way.

Put your need-to-know attitude aside, focus on the end result and let the magic happen.

Here’s how to get on the right track:

1.Cleaning House—Clarity: instead of being clear on what you DON’T want, get clear on what you DO want.

If you don’t have clarity on what you do want, you’ll likely end up repeating the same relationships with the same personalities and the same faults. What do you miss most about your past partners? Surely there were some traits you found attractive, take those bits from each person and put them together. And don’t forget to read my previous article about preparing yourself for your next relationship along the way!

2. Prioritization—Goals: You need to be on the right path in order to reach the goals you’re setting for your love life.

The purpose of a relationship is not to fill the holes, but to boost the full being that’s already there. Be what you want more of—if you’re the person you want to be, the relationship will just enhance your life. Be sure to write down exactly what you want in a partner—be specific, but focus less on the details and more on the end goal. When I was in the process of manifesting mine, I wrote down the following key characteristics that I wanted in a life partner (seriously, these are the real words, I kept the document so I could refer to it when I found myself in a relationship to see if this stuff actually works—it does):

  • I want someone who is a loving and attentive people-person, who loves to travel and try new things.
  • I want someone who respects my entrepreneurial tendencies and my quick-sometimes-flighty decision making habits.
  • I want someone who can tell when to push me to open up and when to leave me alone, knowing that I’ll come out and say it eventually.
  • I want someone who appreciates my giving nature and doesn’t take advantage of it.
  • I want someone who loves the bones in my body and the skin that I’m in and demonstrates that regularly with loving touch.

Can you see how these sentences are specific but not overbearing with details? I found key things that are important to me—wanting to try new things and travel, being respectful and courteous to me and others, certain forms of love expression—and wrote them down. I let the Universe take it from there, because it’s not my job to figure out the how, when or where. It’s just my job to be ready when my soulmate comes along.

3. Visualization—Feeling: It is extremely important to focus on the feeling of the end result.

How does soulmate love feel to you? What goes on in your brain or your chest or your belly when you see that person? Joyful, excited, relieved, secure, happy, anticipatory or content? Feel the feelings, imagine the conversations you’ll have and fake it till you make it. It’s better to ‘live as if’ rather than focus on the lack of the relationship. “It’s been x months/years and it still hasn’t happened” is living in insufficiency and that’s hardly what you want. Don’t live in the reality of what’s missing, you don’t get love by focusing on the love you don’t have—live as if you’ve already found your soulmate and share the love you have in your soul with everyone!

Repeat steps 2 and 3 as necessary: sometimes (usually) it takes practice and that’s ok! Re-evaluate your priorities and feelings and adjust accordingly.

4. Love: this part takes quite a bit of work too, but once you’ve found the right partner it becomes easier and easier.

Study the Love Languages, communicate and allow your love to love you back.

The relationship of your dreams isn’t just a dream; it can be your life if you believe it to be possible. Set your intention, live as if and let the love flow in.

[image: via shutterstock]

About the Author:

Holly Priestley

Holly is just a girl trying to make her way in this world by doing what she’s passionate about. She loves creating and knitting, helping her community and becoming a better version of herself. Holly is a Relationship Coach, knitwear designer, photographer and lover of beer. She and her pup live west of Denver and spend as much time as they can in the mountains.

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