Yeah, we know… it’s easier said than done. But sometimes all a fresh start requires is a fresh perspective. Here’s how NOT to take rejection personally.
And there it is once again, the emotional gut punch that drops us to our knees. Rejection has found us like a fear seeking missile that feels its way directly to our exposed vulnerabilities. Our expectations implode as thoughts of “this time it will be different” haunt every word and action we feel may have caused our date to reject us.
In the aftermath of date destruction, shock and awe limits our spiritual eyesight. We find ourselves staring at the replica of failure and the self-portrait of shame and guilt.
Once again a potential mate has failed to see us as the one. What happens next? We react; we frantically search for a solution to why our dates are blind to the alluring beacon of our brilliance. And, just like that, the inner critic makes us painfully aware of our continual rejection, eventually corroding our excitement towards dating.
Deep down you know who you are and what you have to offer, so why does the pain of rejection disrupt the rhythmic flow our tenderly beating hearts?
When we unveil our nakedness to others again and again without the desired results, we get caught in a pattern of negative dating experiences. We then carry that unsettled energy with us into the next date, and the next, and possibly the next… As a result of this pattern, we may give off uncomfortable vibes that can be perceived as weak, needy, or overly emotional because of how badly we feel about ourselves in these situations.
And to make matters worse, it stinks to be passed over time and time again. How else are we supposed to connect on a deeper level, or match the vibration of the relationship we desire, if we aren’t permitted be ourselves; or worse yet, when we are not accepted and chosen as we are?
Our current dating culture does not easily grant permission for us to be comfortable in our skin without our masks of protection. We have not been spiritually, emotionally, or mentally trained to take rejection as a blessing, or as a powerful Universal insurance policy that renounces those who are not in alignment with our highest good. We often meet this space of pain with a limited understanding of what is really going on and continually lament over the why’s of lonely nights.
We can transform our thinking if we pause, step back, and find a safe space in which to process what we perceive as failure and rejection as something that is actually beneficial to our overall success in a relationship.
It is in the moments of emotional duress that we are forced to see the reflection of what we have to work on. And for the most part, that is letting go of that which we cannot control.
We are not responsible for how other people react to our truest selves. It is a reflection of them, not us. We do not need to own anyone else’s feelings and we are not responsible for what other people think of us. It is basically none of our business.
But, it is our responsibly to not let the actions of others take us off course and send our self-worth plummeting to the depth of despair. When the time is right, the right person will come into our lives. He/she may not be ready and you may still have valuable lessons to learn in order to be the person he/she will need you to be. Period!
If we can openly, without attachment to the outcome, meet each potential date as a human who is searching for what is best for them, we can then redirect all of our fears of lack out into the cosmos. This act of neutrality opens a portal for true-selves to be fully present in the moment. Our dates will reveal themselves, whether by words or actions, and it is our job to release our expectations. This is where letting go of our need to have someone, right now, allows us to feel comfortable in our own space.
This space of contentment is where the magic happens! Before you know it, the one will magically appear to fully embrace the magnitude of who you are with a divine and genuine reciprocity that will last as long as it is meant to be.
About the Author
Rebecca L. Edwards is writer, speaker, and advocate for the voiceless. She deeply resonates with free-feeling souls as she embraces her own life experiences. She fully embraces her gift of writing, from the heart, while creating content that guides her fellows to fall in love with their true selves; deeply, passionately, naturally, and without shame of saying I love me first and most. She teaches that when we can transform our adversities into assets, we come home to a love that cannot be found outside of ourselves. When we are in love with our whole selves, we can then attract the love that we deeply desire; a love that compliments who we have become through the triumph over our struggles. You can learn more about Rebecca and her work on her website or on Facebook.