in: Dating & Relationships

Dear Alisa: I think I’m getting in my own way of finding love

Finding love already feels like a tricky endeavor without the burden of getting in our own way. If you can relate, Alisa is back with some stellar advice.

Dear Alisa,

I have been single for 5 years after a devastating breakup which was very emotionally damaging and has made it hard for me to trust again. I’ve tried dating websites, being more social, blind dates, etc., but haven’t met anyone that sparked a romantic connection and I really want to find my soulmate. How do I know if I’m getting in my own way of finding love because of my trust issues, my own self-limiting beliefs, or if I’ve become too picky as a way of protecting myself?

Dear Love Seeker,

The first question to ask your self is, “Am I fully open to a romantic relationship—even though I know I may get hurt and there’s no guarantee that I won’t?” You will immediately feel within your body a vibration that provides your answer.

Is it a resounding yes! or is there doubt there?

If you feel a strong “yes,” it means you are open and recognize that anyone or any situation is capable of not turning out how we hope and want and it may hurt. That each day in a relationship means you are choosing that partner and they are choosing you, even though there is always a chance that that choice can change for either of you. That you enter a relationship knowing there is always potential to be hurt by another, but you are willing to be fully open in lieu of it, so you can fully experience a spectacular love.

If you feel doubt within, there is something lingering to be explored and loved by you in order to evolve to a wholehearted “yes.”

For example, you have an injury and the question is, “do I need to go to the emergency room?” When it’s a “yes,” you know it and are already on your way to the hospital! If you’re pondering about it, then it’s a “no,” which in this situation may be relevant to the specifics you expressed, but nevertheless, it is calling for your attention to be loved and resolved.

I’m guided to tell you to embrace your present moment. That nothing is lacking in your journey at this time because you’re single, but this time is a gift for you to continue to explore yourself while awaiting the divine timing for your greatest love to enter your life. A moment in your journey that is embracing you, expanding you, to be exactly where your heart needs to be, to greet that love partner when they arrive. Staying open to all possibilities—and manifesting what you desire by actively investing and believing in it—ignites your energy into cause which will create effect.

Staying open in the midst of potential hurt means you’re open to a love that is greater than you could have ever imagined.

Trust in Love!



Dear Reader: do you have any dating or relationship questions for Alisa? Yes? Excellent! Send us a love note to [email protected] with the subject line: DEAR ALISA and have a happy day! 

About the Author:

Alisa Kalina

Highly-attuned empath and clairsentient intuitive, Alisa Kalina promotes self-love and transformation by connecting people to their own hearts and to the hearts of all. She provides multi-dimensional support, wisdom, intuitively inspired guidance, and compassionate coaching, to empower your growth and connect you with your divine self. Through intuitive, clairsentient receiving and connection to your Higher Self, her guidance can clear energetic blockages, heal emotional wounds, break self-defeating patterns, clarify and transmute conflict, transform your relationships, as well as creating soul inspired change for your evolution, empowerment, and healing. Check out Alisa's weekly advice column here on MeetMindful and learn more about Alisa's work at


Join our Mindful Movement!


Sign up today, and we'll share bi-weekly Mindful Moments, full of helpful tips, tactics, and content to improve your life!


"Without a doubt, the most engaging written piece on mindfulness!"

- a Mindful Moment Subscriber


(We'll never sell or share your information, either.)

You have Successfully Subscribed!