Life has its challenges and moving through life as an empath can present an added layer of complexity. Feeling stressed about human connection? Read on.

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Dear Alisa,

I’m an empath. Throughout my life I have struggled with and tried to avoid conflict because I am introverted in part to protect myself, yet I feel a pull toward people and a need to heal them—whether through medicine, massage, conversation, or just being there for them—but that brings me into their conflict.

One of my main issues is I don’t ground or cleanse my energy as often as I should and then I’m holding on to the negativity that isn’t even mine, yet becomes a part of me. I get overwhelmed and fearful of what others think about me, I try to act as a mediator in conflicts that aren’t my own to restore peace for those involved, which I know is a positive thing, but I fear that I do it for selfish reasons. I fight against myself, instead of letting go and letting change go through me. I avoid others because I don’t want to impose, yet when I am around others, we all enjoy each other’s company.

I need to put myself out there more, and I know it, but I feel stuck. I want closer relationships with others, with my husband, with myself, but it always seems so much harder for me than everyone else. I don’t know what to do ….

Dear Empath,

The struggle is real, but it’s all brilliant news for you! It’s about finding your balance within, so you can easily maintain the close relationships you desire, being exactly who you are.

By staying continually grounded and in tune with your own energy so it is the one you resonate in, your highest vibration, your highest self, you will transform struggle into purpose. When you’re in that space, you will know when you should interject, offer healing, mediate, etc., and you will also know when you shouldn’t. You will be able to feel into your relationships without fear or any reason to hold back. You will feel safe being more extroverted and making more connections. You will feel more confident in the space you hold for yourself and your journey, and the space you offer for others to do the same.

It’s imperative to ground yourself and release energy—it is for everyone!

Often, we can tend to everyone else’s growth, issues, need for support—interjecting ourselves with purely good intentions—and end up feeling like we are serving others and doing positive work. When really, all the work we are doing is because we actually need it done for ourselves.

We need to focus that energy and attention on our own heart—but because there may be trepidation faced there, we will fix everyone else instead. If we fix everyone else then they will be happy, which will make us feel happier connecting with them, their energy will feel better, and all will then feel better.

That’s not the space you want to resonate in, it’s a trap.

When you sit with your own heart to discover what it needs and when you sit with the depths of the love found during that process, you won’t experience the conflict and turmoil of others as your own. You will be able to bring love to it—exactly as it is needed—as you experience it with them, not taking it on, but alleviating it by being with them as they are experiencing it. Your relationships will flourish because you won’t need to fix anyone’s problems. You will be in their experience at their side, with them, offering love and whatever is asked of you that you can oblige.

You will feel more confident to connect with others, instead of shying away because of their needs and what it might take from you. Honor yourself by investing in your heart first and foremost—learning how to love being you in all the special ways you are so brilliantly YOU.

Trust you are intuitive and will know when to actively help and when to hold space without action or words. Know that once you release your fears around connections and your purpose within them, you will find all of the relationships, experiences, and opportunities to serve, in all of the ways your spirit desires! You will utilize your desires to bring peace and heal others while fulfilling your heart, without it being taxing on your energy, feeling conflicted, or causing discomfort to others by inserting yourself unwarranted. You will know how to shine your light without worry, doubt, or fear, and your relationships will explode with unfathomable goodness and soul-inspired connection!

Your balance is your brilliance! Shine SO bright!

Alisa

 

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